"This is one race of people for whom psychoanalysis is of no use whatsoever." (Sigmund Freud on the Irish)
I have been living here for more than two months now, and can't say that I have settled in. If I were living in Spain, perhaps, or Azerbaijan, I might have more cause to fully adjust to my new surroundings. Instead, I am in a country where they speak what passes for my native language (or what my native language passes for, depending on how you look at it) and where the weather and the greenery and the economically depressed small-scale city nearby are all remarkably remeniscent of home. They have no root beer here, and no real peanut butter-- but I am a hardy young individual and believe that I will survive those hardships without too much undue stress. My apartment is far enough from campus (about an hour's walk) to prevent my mixing too much with the locals... and even if I had the time to do so around my class schedule it would be difficult to meet them, since my program seems to keep us fairly isolated from the rest of the University. I am on campus more than I ever was at Emerson, and our classes tend to shift and change by the week, making free time a tentative prospect. It is a relief, though, to not have a job for the first time in many, many years... being "just a student" still seems like cheating, but I expect I will get over it and enjoy my freedom one of these days. I have worked a bit more on the novel now and then to try to make up for my laziness in other quarters, but have mostly resigned myself to lying fallow and allowing the Great Potato Famine of My Soul to consume itself and blow away.
My one recreational activity thus far has been playing Brenda in the UL production of Smokey Joe's Cafe. It is really very odd to participate in such an... American art form while living so far from home. Like the weather and the dirty city and the smell of Fall, musical theatre is something that I had previously associated with Home that has a different context and meaning here. It's fun, and laid back... everything here is fairly laid back, in fact. There is a very unique feeling to the free and easy Irish attitude, however... time is fluid here, and days and appointments and assignments and what have you are all subject to interpretation. There are many smiles and not to worrys and "are ye allrights," but there's a kind of sword of Damocles feeling to it all... as though beneath the surface of all this laissez faire are wills and expectations that are absolutely intractable, and you are guided almost supernaturally into the correct action with a nod and a smile that are somehow terrifying.
I have to sign off as musical rehearsal starts in a few minutes, but I am trying to overcome my reluctance to tackle the backlog of events and adventures of the past many months... so hopefully there will be more to follow soon.
